How A Caregiver Advocate Uses Tech to Prevent Burnout | The AgeTech Podcast S4E29 with Elizabeth Miller
Caregiving doesn’t come with a manual – but what if it came with a tech toolkit? In this episode, I sat down with Elizabeth Miller, the force behind Happy Healthy Caregiver, to talk about the everyday tech that helped her avoid burnout while caring for aging parents. We’re not talking robots and VR goggles – think timers, iPads, reminders, and clever systems that make a big difference in real life. Whether you’re a caregiver, a founder, or just curious about how tech can lighten the load, this one’s for you.
Catch the full conversation on Youtube, Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or scroll down for the transcript (auto-generated, so pardon any oddities – the bots are still learning!)
Keren Etkin: Elizabeth, welcome to the show.
Elizabeth Miller: Thank you so much for having me.
Keren Etkin: So could you tell us a little bit about your origin story and what got you started with happy, healthy caregiver?
Elizabeth Miller: Yeah, very fitting that we’re talking today because today is my, um, four year anniversary of doing my business full-time. But I have started happy, healthy Caregiver 10 years ago because I felt like invisible, frankly, as a family caregiver in this space, was caring for my parents who had chronic comorbidities.
My husband was simultaneously caring for his mom. We were working and in the peak of our career earning years and raising middle schoolers at the time, and just felt like, why is this so hard and can we clone ourselves so that we can get more help and support? And I felt like people were shoulding. I call it on me, Keren, about like. Oh, you should be doing this and that for your loved one. But really felt invisible that my own health and happiness was suffering in this process, and like nobody was seeing it.
Keren Etkin: Wow, that is such a great motivation, uh, to start. Advocating and working with other caregivers to provide them the support that honestly, they so desperately need. So, um, when you reached out to me, you and I wanted to talk about like, the intersection of technology and caregiving, which is one of the areas that I’m super excited about in this day and age.
I wonder like, first of all, as a, as a family caregiver. What has been your experience with technology? Have you personally used any technology to support you and your family in your caregiving journey? And what have you seen that other caregivers are using and what works for them?
Elizabeth Miller: Yeah. Uh, there’s a lot. I think, I think to kind of understand too, the context of where I’m coming from. It’s important to note that my professional background before I became an entrepreneur full-time was that I worked in it. So I was a product manager, project manager, business analyst, always kind of looking for the ways to solve business problems using technology.
So now I’m in this. Caregiving space and there’s 53 million family caregivers just in the US alone. We’ve got so many more, you know, globally and we are outnumbered. And I felt that, you know, felt like. I can’t be doing all of the things and, and the things that people need me to do. So there’s a lot of pain points that family caregivers have. Um, and a couple of the top ones is that they, they need help, right? They need help with the task coordination. They need, they need education because. I’m not a nurse, I’m not a social worker, and all of the things that are kind of being thrown at me, I am learning on the job in a very, um, crisis, sometimes situation and a very emotionally charged situation.
And then we also need help with finances because care is super expensive. And I think that’s one of the things that we realize when we get into this is like, oh, some of these government
Government.
were gonna help us. necessarily, you know, the answer for everything. So I learned very quickly that.
Uh, I was in a, in a role with my caregiving life that was not gonna be sustainable had I not figured out how to put systems in place and how to use technology to help bridge this gap of being outnumbered, which it’s only gonna continue as, you know, getting worse for people as we get more and more outnumbered.
So, some of the ways that we used it in my family, um, and, and most of my care journey was helping to care for my mom and she was. Bedridden the last, um, the last few years of her life. So she pa my dad passed away six years earlier than my mom. We would’ve thought, my mom, you know, sadly was gonna, um, go before my dad.
And so we really were struggling to figure her high. She had a high level of care needs. Thankfully my mom was open to using technology, so she, her iPad was her lifeline to the rest of the world. Uh, some of the things that we did were in our hospitalization journeys with my parents. I’m from a very big family and one of the big roles as a family caregiver is keeping everybody informed and it can be exhausting.
All of the questions and the updates and everything. So we used, um, an online journal called caringbridge.org that helped, um, post these updates and we have this two-way communication. People could post pictures and memories and, you know, when my dad was really sick and my mom couldn’t even go to visit my dad because of her health concerns.
It became a way for them to kind of share and write and, and do things other than using the phone. So that was,
That.
thing. Um, and then when my mom became bedridden, you know, her world got so much smaller, you know, she’s on a hospital bed and so we were, we were trying to use different things there.
She. loved to do puzzles but didn’t have the table space to do that, so we did digital puzzles. She loved,
But she.
about
um, animals and so we would find YouTube videos about animals and so that she could kind of watch and kind of access the outside world through that. And of course it was essential for my family members to have a way to communicate with her. And she used FaceTime. We would kind of joke that we would kind of not get her whole face. know, in the image I’d be like, mom, I can’t see you, your napkin’s over the camera, whatever. But, but good for her. Right? For keep, for to keep trying up and show it. So some of it is not like, you know, the groundbreaking technology that we’re seeing today, but I think this is real, you know, ways that caregivers are using technology.
Um. way was to, you know, using the reminders on our phone. Like sometimes you’re deep in something, in a task, and so asking your, um, and I’m almost afraid to say it ’cause my phone’s gonna start talking to me. But, um, asking for reminders about scheduling appointments and the things that are on your brain, like while you’re in the midst of doing something or ordering supplies, like while you’re using them, you’re realizing you’re, you’re out of them. Um, so those were a few of the things that we did. And then like. Another kind of no-brainer thing was like setting the coffee pot timer so the coffee was gonna be made so that we could hit the ground running in the morning.
Keren Etkin: Absolutely. And you know what? I always say that it’s not about the technology. It is, it’s about what the technology does and what it allows you to do and how it improves your life, or, um, relieves or reduces some of the, the burden that you have to carry as a family caregiver. And. Yeah, it could be something as simple as FaceTime on an iPad, or reminders on your phone or, or a timer on your, uh, coffee kettle.
It doesn’t necessarily have to have virtual reality, ai, computer vision, LLM
be the
embedded in it.
Elizabeth Miller: Because sometimes those can be
those be barriers, right? I’m not sure.
would’ve completely embraced some of those things. I do think like she had a baby doll and I think, you know, now that I know about like joy for all pets, I think she could have really enjoyed something a little more animated. Um, because she was a mom for six kids. And so that was a, you know, a, a comfort to her to have that. so there’s, there’s a lot of things that we, we as caregivers and as I am a coach for family caregivers and an educator now for them, that want to remind them to think outside the box. And caregivers are, are super creative, but we immediately think about asking for help from our family members. But there’s a lot of help out there beyond family as far as human beings, but also using technology, um, you know, through Amazon Subscribers Save or Instacart, you know, as a working family caregiver, my mom would be out of incontinence supplies and Instacart could be there before I could be there. And what a, what a load of stress that took off of me, especially if I had a critical meeting that day. Um, and you know, I think. Anytime a caregiver has a problem. Um, and you mentioned the timer and I, I thought of another story too where one of our, our resistant things with my mom is that she had COPD and she used to have to wear a, um, a nebulizer at certain times of day. And she used to always fight with us about, it’s been 10 minutes.
It’s been 10 minutes. And like the simple thing of using her iPad and setting the timer for 10 minutes and saying, this is 10 minutes, and when this goes off, you can take the mask off like that. so many fights for us and was really, really a boundary. Um, but anytime a caregiver has friction or a problem or, um, an overwhelming feeling like to, to really think about, is there a way that a system or technology can help ease that in some way?
Keren Etkin: Absolutely, and I think this is something you touch upon, something really important. I mean, you, with your background, it was obvious that you would go and look for tech. To help you, uh, with your caregiving. However, for many people, because they don’t know what they don’t know, they don’t even know that these solutions exist. They, so they don’t know to go look for them. And like you said, you’re in a crisis mode. You’re trying to figure out what you need to do and how to accomplish it in the most effective way, in the best way for your older loved one. You don’t necessarily have the bandwidth to go and find technology and do your market research and figure out which solution is the best and then go buy it and go teach yourself how to use it, teach your parent how to use it.
So what advice do you have for, first of all, for startups to bridge this gap and to meet caregivers where they are? And that’s one question. And the other question I have is like, what advice do you give caregivers How. Are they supposed with everything else they have on their plate
Elizabeth Miller: Yeah.
Keren Etkin: to go look for solutions?
Elizabeth Miller: Yeah,
Keren Etkin: Yeah.
Elizabeth Miller: I think organically the simple answer for the caregiver is. The best ideas in my mind come from other family caregivers like you are gonna get the tried and true tips, the real stuff. And you know, and I do that through my podcast of spotlighting real family caregivers, sharing the resources and the things that have worked for them, because that’s important.
I think we’re, we’re looking for creative solutions. So some of it is just tapping into these communities like mine that exist. These support groups, because whatever you’re gonna come up with, somebody may have a potential idea or a resource or solution to be able to help you with that. And so plugging yourselves into these communities, whether you’re doing it virtually or in person, or even subscribing to an email list or listening to a podcast, like that’s, that’s something that you can do that’s gonna benefit you in a lot of different ways, because we need that connection and we need that community anyway.
And so you’re gonna be getting the education and the resources as a side. Benefit to that, which is gonna have a lot of lasting benefits for you, for the people who are creating the solutions. And I’m so grateful and I love it. And I’ve, and a lot of these people are caregivers, right? They’ve seen this problem and they’re inventing a new way of doing things.
And, um, what, what they’re doing is creating amazing products and services to help people, and they’ve got this fabulous thing out there, but they don’t have a way to amplify it and elevate it into a family caregiver community. So one of the ways that I didn’t know that I was gonna make a living when I started my business is I call myself
an accidental influencer where people have been, because I have built this trusted community, it’s a win-win for them to potentially advertise on my podcast or advertise in my newsletter or maybe hire me. Um, as some companies have done where I’ve done intense product reviews, where literally unboxing things and I’m not afraid of technology and I’ve got, you know, they, I’ve, I’ve built trust with these folks who are following me. And, and so trying out and testing them and showing them exactly how the thing is gonna remove some of the fear and, um, some of the barriers around that, and really kind of fast track them to the resources that that can help them because it is such a situational thing where you have a specific problem, maybe your problem is, you know, medication management and your person doesn’t live with you, and how are you gonna feel confident that they are, you know, taking their meds every day?
Well, there are products out there that you can, you know, we’ll tell you if they’ve opened their pill box or we’ll dispense it when they, you know, hit a button and track it and send you alerts as a caregiver. And a lot of that is. I still call it self-care for caregivers because it’s gonna provide you peace of mind and provide you, you know, that more mental health, um, capacity to, to do other things that are gonna energize you. Um, but there’s a lot of cool stuff that I think is, is being out there. And so I’m trying, as a person who’s in this care economy space and wants to fast track caregivers to this, the resources that can help them. It’s a responsibility of mine that I stay kind of abreast of everything that’s going on.
And that’s why I love your newsletter in particular is it really gives me some of those, that information, um, in bite-size ways. Okay.
Keren Etkin: Thank you. I appreciate it. Um, so you mentioned that, um. You do some collaborations with startup to help get the word out there to the caregiver community. What has been, um, some of the feedback that you received from the caregiving community in terms of what are the challenges people are dealing with but they can’t find solutions? like like are people emailing you saying, Elizabeth, I need this solution. I asked the community, it doesn’t exist. Can you talk to the startups and tell them to build it for me?
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Elizabeth Miller: I think they, they don’t necessarily phrase it like that. ’cause, and to your point earlier, they don’t know what they don’t know. Right. They’re not necessarily, look, it’s coming up more as a problem. Um, you know, when I’m coaching or I’m in a virtual virtual support group session, or I’m speaking to groups of caregivers, it’s usually coming up like, I can’t get my family members to help me, you know? How can I, how can I, you know, what can I do to, to make this happen? And maybe it’s educating them about certain caregiving apps being out there where they can create a team and they can in invite people to, you know, so-and-so has a doctor appointment, I’m looking for help here. Or, um, you know, what is your availability on, I need to schedule an upcoming appointment and putting all of that stuff in one place. Uh, or it comes up like, you know, I’m, I’m not able to know if my parents are taking their meds or I feel like my loved one is depressed and they need more socialization. And so those are the kinds of problems then that when they’re working with, um, a community or a coach or a group that then solutions can start to open up one.
You know, my folks are, are sadly now deceased, but I’m still a caregiver from my brother. Um, and I share the care with my siblings with him, and he was born with an intellectual disability. And is on the autism spectrum. And he literally was talking to me yesterday after an appointment that he, you know, he is a 62-year-old guy.
He wants to, he wants to date. So what, putting him on a typical neurotypical dating site is not gonna be successful for him. So now I’m thinking I gotta find a techno, a solution. Maybe it’s out there, maybe it needs to be created, but away from my brother to safely date other people. Um. You know, and another thing that we’re dealing with as a family is like, he has a social disability.
So family caregivers, we need to monitor social media and he can, he has repetitive behavior and so he can message someone too much. Like, is there a way that we can put limits on his Facebook messenger so that people aren’t getting frustrated and blocking him with repetitive phone calls or repetitive messages. Um, so I, you know, I. There’s a lot of work to be done and there’s a lot of problems that we have to solve. There’s so many problems to solve, like new ones coming up every single day, um, that will never be bored. There’s a lot of of technology that can, that can help people out there
Keren Etkin: That was actually my next question. What do you see as sort of the biggest problems that no one is currently solving?
Elizabeth Miller: well mean. If asking me as a business owner, I’m happy, healthy caregiver, like one of my frustrations that has been my frustration since day one is that we are not. Um, fast tracking caregivers to the support that we need. Like, think about the people who are going in with their loved ones to a hospital environment or doctor’s office.
You know, we, we see a lot of ads and information about prescriptions and things like that, but there’s nothing there. I. To armor up this family caregiver whose life has completely changed, like when a loved one gets a diagnosis, we are also getting a diagnosis where life is different as we, uh, we know it. Um, and so if I could wave my magic wand, what I would want to be true is that, you know, when I was by the bedside at those hospital environments or when I’m sitting in the waiting rooms of those doctor’s offices, that support and resources and education is right in my face. So maybe, you know, maybe it looks like clicking, you know, instead of watching HDTV or the Food Network, there’s a channel of education and support, um, for family caregivers.
There maybe it is a simple like resource sheet of like, here is support in your area. Um, but to me the natural gateway for that is in our healthcare environments, and I’m just not seeing that there. And, and as a business owner, it is difficult to kind of break into those, um, those areas. I jokingly kind of call them mini government in a way because they kind of just kind of stay within their own and they.
Think maybe that they’re doing that. Like, well, we have case managers, we have family patient advocates. I’m like, no, that is not the same thing we need. We need it very accessible for people because again, they don’t even know to come and ask for that person and to ask them those questions.
Keren Etkin: Absolutely. I, I mean, there are startups who make some of the information accessible. Uh, however, I believe, or I, I feel like the large language models could really. Be a game changer here because you could potentially just start a conversation with Chad GPT and say, Hey, I’m a family caregiver. My mother was diagnosed with X, I live in this zip code, she has this insurance.
What do I do? And it could like quickly educate you if it had the data, which probably right now it doesn’t, but the government has the data, the insurance companies have the data, the health systems have the data, so it’s only a matter of aggregating it. And it’s not, it’s not even, it’s not even like, it’s not, it shouldn’t be something that’s regulated.
I mean, it’s public information,
Elizabeth Miller: Right? Like,
Keren Etkin: Like why is it.
Elizabeth Miller: kind of goes back to the question like, you know, we have, um, where I am, um, my MyChart information keeps track of all my test results and the doctor’s appointments, and I can do my forms and stuff. Like, yeah. Why, why is it not an accessible way of like, I. How are you, how is your mental health?
How are, what are you doing to, um, support yourself? And almost like getting a diagnosis as a caregiver, as a health condition and, and setting up a treatment plan for them so that they can mitigate burnout or recover from burnout if they’re already there is, is so important because the whole system crumbles the family caregiver’s, um, health and happiness is compromised.
Keren Etkin: Absolutely. Uh, we definitely, I mean, I don’t think there is any amount of energy or resources that we could put into caregivers that would be excessive. I mean,
just, it helps not just the families and not just the care recipients, but it. At the end of the day has positive ROI on the economy. I mean, we know the numbers.
We know that people have to quit their jobs or, uh, go start working part-time because of caregiving duties. We know it that, that it does have a huge impact on the economy and on people’s retirement savings and the fact that we have so many. Family caregivers who reach retirement age with the resources depleted due to years
I mean, it shouldn’t, it shouldn’t be this way. Yeah.
Elizabeth Miller: it, it’s, at least in the way it’s set up in the, in the States is like we are encouraging people to reduce their assets so that they can potentially get on a wait list for Medicaid services to help pay for long-term care. Like, sounds ridiculous when you say it out loud, like, but that’s, that’s system.
So we either have, um, people, people paying private paying. Uh, or, you know, we have the, the services, but most of the majority of people I feel like are in the middle where they, where they need to kind of, um, better understand how to financially access these things. So, you know, there are some tech services out there that help people navigate that too, which is amazing.
Like, you know, going through a wizard or a questionnaire of. Is your, you know, do you have a vet? Are you, do you give veteran benefits? You know, are you on Medicaid? Um, and asking you different questions so that you can maybe access what’s available, but still sometimes the answers are not, are not great there. Um, so, you know, is there a way that we could donate our vacation time to other people or donate our miles easily to help a family caregiver go visit a loved one? Like, I got ideas all day, like, let’s go.
Keren Etkin: That those are, those are amazing ideas. It never occurred to me that she could do something like that to support other caregivers.
Elizabeth Miller: Yeah,
Keren Etkin: uh, why why not? I mean, you, um, what do you call it? I’m not sure how to say Uh, in English for.
Elizabeth Miller: are like, I’m sitting on all these miles, this and that. But then there’s like somebody out there like, I need to go to, you know, from Georgia to California as like a thousand dollars plane ticket. You know, it’s, it’s a lot. So to to um, to manage that. And so I think, you know, there, there’s GoFund mes and ways like that, but is there other creative ways that we can support the caregiver community? Um, financially would be amazing. I think
success probably the hardest problem right?
is expensive. How do we help people pay for this? How do we streamline it for them and make it easier to access, um, some of these resources that are available to them? I mean, another
Another big.
caregivers is respite. they desperately need breaks, but it is hard to get the breaks that they need. Um, and there are some people that are doing retreats. And things like that, but then you think, well, they’ve gotta pay, sometimes pay for the care behind to even go on the retreat. And so it’s, it’s hard. It’s a really hard, hard problem to solve.
Keren Etkin: Exactly. Not to mention that you have to teach someone how to provide the care that you’re providing for a three day retreat. Just thinking about it, I mean, it could really cause someone to not go to the retreat.
Elizabeth Miller: Yeah, yeah. We’re,
Keren Etkin: Yeah.
Elizabeth Miller: um, a cruise actually in October called The Self-Care at Sea Cruise for Caregivers, and that’s one of the things that we’ve noticed is that, you know, it’d be amazing for them to come on a seven day cruise, but it’s hard for them to set up the system behind them that can be able to. to afford them this break that they need to go. And what I love
I love about it.
Elizabeth Miller: the break, but they leave with the community because once they come on some of these respite trips, I know I’ve been on
Keren Etkin: I’ve been.
Elizabeth Miller: before that have been life changing. We know where you get a group of strangers to come together and then through this shared experience of storytelling and being vulnerable, there’s long lasting connections.
And then those people are going home and they’re less isolated, less lonely. They’ve got, you know, support and resources, which is gonna. everybody that’s involved.
Keren Etkin: Absolutely. Um, so I have one last question, uh, that I wanted to ask you. What are some of the, uh, future technologies that you see coming down the pipeline that you’re excited about? Or, um, what are some of the technologies that you wish would be coming down the pipeline in, let’s say? Uh, 30 years from now, um, when you and I are older and maybe we need caregivers,
Elizabeth Miller: Yeah.
Keren Etkin: but, but like the way that the demography works, we might not have the paid help available to us.
What do you wish would happen?
Elizabeth Miller: Yeah,
Keren Etkin: Yeah.
Elizabeth Miller: honestly, I wish somebody would cook dinners for, for family. Like, can we get the robots to start making the dinners yet? Like I’ve, I’ve certainly used chat GPT to. Simplified meal plans. And one time it even spit it out and I said, can you, can you redo this so that I can just use my air fryer for everything? But I think, you know, because in addition to the all of these extra responsibilities, we still have the day-to-day things that we have to do. So, um, these everyday tasks a little bit easier so that we have space for, um, I think is, is important. Um, finding, you know, groundbreaking. Uh, solutions to some of the big diseases and conditions are out there.
Like, that excites me. Like I would love in my lifetime to see, cures in progress with dementia and cancer and some of the other things that are, are, you know, I. Autism, um, that are affecting, affecting families. Um, you know, I, I’m excited about sometimes it’s not even a big, the big things, it’s just like the, the little things.
But I’m also little bit cautious too in that, you know, I have con concerns about safety and, you know, the AI and person, (impersonization), can’t even say the word, um,
Keren Etkin: The deep, the deep fake.
Elizabeth Miller: Yeah, like I, I do have concerns about that and I think we have to address some of those things as a society so that people feel more comfortable in stepping out of their comfort zone and trying different technology.
I think as our, you know, my kids are obviously gonna be more willing to try technology and try new things than even my generation is. And, um. I think there’s a, there’s a, a lot we can learn like even like the little things like my aura ring that excites me is that like how accessible it is for me to get data about my wellbeing on a daily basis like that is amazing. And, and how I can make tweaks on a daily basis to, to make improvements there. So a lot of the wearables, I think is, is, is exciting too, and fall prevention and. It’s, it’s amazing. Um, and better ways, I think for communication. The, there’s always there in, in removing the barriers and allowing people, you know, who are potentially nonverbal to communicate better. those things excite me.
Keren Etkin: Absolutely. We definitely, We definitely, it feels like we already sort of live in the future in, in a Star Trek episode, and I have no doubt in my mind that we will have robots making dinner for us.
Elizabeth Miller: Jetsons. Yeah,
Keren Etkin: It will, it will happen. It’s going to happen in our lifetime, I’m sure of it. Um, so that was.
Elizabeth Miller: Too.
Keren Etkin: That was actually my last question. Uh, is there anything that we didn’t talk about that you would like to add? Any contact action to our viewers or listeners?
Elizabeth Miller: I, I mean, get, get plugged in and, you know, get plugged into communities, get plugged into your resources like that you’re offering so that we can be smarter because when we know better, we do better and it, it’s going to help make this caregiving journey sustainable for all of us. And then just a shout out to my Atlanta age tech group.
Like, I love what they’re doing. I love how they’re scaling in different areas and, and bringing the information to our communities. So, um, I think, I think I’d love to see more of that too. So big shout out there and if anybody’s, you know, interested in learning more about what I have to offer, I would love for you to check out happy healthy caregiver.com.
Keren Etkin: Absolutely. Any caregivers in the audience should definitely check it out. It’s a wonderful, wonderful resource. Elizabeth, thank you so much for joining me on the show today. It was an absolute pleasure to finally meet you and to have this conversation.
Elizabeth Miller: thank you.
Keren Etkin: you.
Elizabeth Miller: the space to talk about this and to support and empower caregivers. I appreciate it.
Keren Etkin: Thank you.